Berlin - A Stein of Nattie Lite

Thanks to an unusual spurt of luck, I was able to meet up with my close friend, and former roommate from Cal. We both finished our finals at the same time and had a convenient buffer zone between my return stateside and the start of her summer study abroad program in Florence during which we could galavant across Europe. In case you were concerned that I might have forsaken good German beer for a pathetic American substitute - Natural Lite (colloquially termed Nattie Lite), it should be stated that that is our 'couple' name, for lack of a better term. Since Mattie and Natalie are quite similar in sound many people have a habit of running them together, so we have thus embraced the oh so classy moniker.  

Of all the cities to travel alone in, this is probably the best option. It's incredibly efficient and oraganized - gotta love that German-precision stereotype. Plus, it feels incredibly safe. It's a city that consistently oscillates in that gray area between beautiful and hideously industrial. There is a surprising amount of greenspace, and no real shortage of Biergärtens. And if you're on a student's budget but planning on staying for ten days I highly suggest procuring a German great aunt who lives in Charlottenburg, and can provide free accommodation. She comes in real clutch when your bank account begins to tire of your wanderlust.

In the style of Starships' 'We Built this City' -

We built this city

We built this city on guilt and beer

Built this city

We built this city on guilt and beeeeeer 

You would be hard-pressed to find a city more intricately connected to its recent past. Though an incredibly liberal and inclusive place now, an aura of perpetual guilt and shame over past Fascist and Communist transgressions seems to permeate the air. Which is perhaps why there is no shortage of bier, as I'm sure the ever-present reminders make the repression of bad feelings via copious amounts of alcohol all the more appealing.

Sights

Pergamonmuseum - Located on 'Museum Island,' this place boasts of Babylonian, Sumerian and Assyrian artifacts. Though if you are uncultured swine (such as myself) and the intricate nuances of these various items are somewhat lost on you, the sheer size of the Ishtar Gate from Babylon should appease even the most simplistic of taste preferences.     

Neues Museum - Another venue bursting at the seams with ancient history. This is where you can see the lovely bust of Nefertiti. Pro tip: don't bother trying to sneak a shot of her, unless you believe the blurry result is worth the chastisement from jaded exhibit guards

Prater/Viktoria Park Biergärten - as I've said before, there is no shortage of beer or greenspace in Berlin, so a beer garden was a natural creation. They are an excellent place to people watch and enjoy the sunny weather (assumedly you're traveling in spring and not braving the German winters).

Mauerpark - hipster paradise. Great spot to find potheads, barefoot guitarists and slack line walkers. Essentially Berkeley's Memorial Glade, Euro style. 

Teufelsee - a little lake with nude sunbathers as far as the eye can see. But still worth the thirty minute trek through the woods, despite any prudish reservations. It's also very close to old CIA watch towers from the Berlin wall-era that look like giant golfballs. Both those and the hilltop next door provide an incredible view of the whole city

Brandenburg Tor - one of those 'must-dos' while here. Pro tip: while it might be more beautiful at night, if you go during the day you might encounter sheikhs in full garb entering Hotel Adlon complete with full security detail. A spectacle so full of gravitas that there is undoubtedly a briefcase full of money exchanging hands at some point.

Charlottenburg Palace - gardens look like Versailles. And the steps at the edge of the pond make for a great resting spot to drink a beer and watch randy ducks as the sun sets. Grounds are a little unkempt, but still beautiful. Pro tip: mind your step if you wander off the path, and into the tall grasses as fornicating couples abound. Because nothing says romance like public parks with gnats and mosquitoes. 

Pfaueninsel - located just outside the city and home to the former residence of King Wilhelm the something or other's mistress. The castle looks like it was made by Fisher Price, but the tiny island it is situated upon is picturesquely serene. Pro tip: while having a picnic, mind the peacocks for which the place got its namesake because they are a pushy bunch. They make seagulls and pigeons seem human-phobic

Modern Art Museum - because what tour of museums would be complete without one that has a small toy tank that follows you around with a microphone?

Topography of Terrors & Checkpoint Charlie - the long line of photos with blurbs about history would probably have been a bit more captivating had it not followed a long day of museums and probably ten miles worth of walking. Checkpoint Charlie is nearby and cool to look around. There are stations where you can get your passport stamped. However, I heard that doing so might invalidate it. Worth researching, but I personally did not think a couple more stamps were worth getting trapped in Berlin.

Jewish Museum - Poignant museum that superbly utilizes minimalist architecture to highlight their point. One particularly harrowing room is empty save for a metal ladder you can't reach, and tiny area where light can stream through. I highly suggest going somewhere more lighthearted after this, as the whole experience can be a bit draining.

East Side Gallery - all of Berlin has some pretty astounding street art, but this section of the wall takes the cake. There are a wide range of artist styles represented and it's definitely worth going out there. However, if you choose to take a "shortcut" back to the U-Bahn station odds are you'll wander into a dead-end cul de sac with nothing but hardware stores and abandoned train tracks for company.

Food

Bier - Ah, my fickle friend. You don't taste as good as wine, not nearly as efficient as hard liquor, and your bloating properties can severely try my patience. But when in Rome, right? On this trip I have had more than my fair share of steins, and yet it felt sacrilegious to not partake in the drink of my people. (Fun fact: my German ancestors actually dabbled in the brewing business, and you can now purchase memorabilia on Amazon).
 Few things I've learned -
1. I prefer the less hoppy, smoother varieties. Basically, the less it tastes like beer, the better.
2. I can definitely rock the foam mustache.
3. Reinhfitsgebot might be more pure or 'authentic' but it tastes virtually the same, and many beer enthusiasts don't believe in the hype.
4. If you're not smart enough to ask the local minimart to open your bottle after purchase, then benches, other bottles, and random stranger's lighters can be used in lieu of a bottle opener.  

Currywurst - standard German sausage (of which they have aplenty) with ketchup and curry seasoning.  While pretty good, this simple dish proves why this nation is not lauded for its fine cuisine.

Schnitzel - I think it's made of chicken. Maybe pork? All I know for sure is that German vegetarians are somewhat hard to come by.

Pretzel - typically sold at Biergartens. And an excellent complement to your stein. Just a heads up that the ones sold out of a basket in Tiergarten can be kind of stale and undersalted. I much prefer the pretzels of Prater.

Bier Weisse - essentially the Cosmo of the Biergarten world. Sweet and tasty, but hard to consume with a head held high.

Bread & Quark - kind of like German cream cheese that goes really well with marmalade. Not sure you can find this at a restaurant or cafe as it's more homey local fare.

Doner Kebab - the drunchie staple of the UK was supposedly invented in Berlin. Whether or not that's true, they certainly know how to prepare this deliciously greasy and pseudo-Middle Eastern dish