Quick Tips from the Culturally Ignorant

Since I have been in this country for a couple of weeks, it feels appropriate to make rash generalizations. A sort of guide for all those who wish to make the trek 'across the pond' (see how I proved my cultural literacy by using a commonly heard colloquialism?).  Because as an American, I feel it to be my duty to assert that all of my experiences while here are the norm for the entire nation.

Essentially, (in true patriotic form) I'll be showing a complete disregard for a foreign country's true cultural customs and nuances. And instead purport the ideology that one example makes the rule. 'MURICA.



Not all doors come with handles.

Apparently they're just too good for them.

Speaking of doors, there is nothing quite so demeaning as being incapable of operating relatively simple technology. My dorm building was especially accommodating in its effort to patronize me with it's use of key cards, snazzy green 'exit' buttons and materials that are twice the weight of the average door.

Stairs. Just everywhere is stairs. I hate stairs.

This is what they consider to be guacamole.

I know, it hurts me too.

This kind of building

can contain this kind of artwork in its archways

As I am sure this will come up often in your daily conversation, here's a little clarification on local lingo:

When asking for a cigarette -

'Can I bum a fag?' - BAD
'Can I pinch a fag?' - GOOD

When showing off your new accessories -

'Do you like my fanny pack?' - BAD
'Do you like my bum pack?' - GOOD