Perhaps, for the sake of all those involved, it is best to leave the details of our shenanigans undocumented. Particularly since the generous saturation of "liquid courage" did little to prevent those escapades from being permanently catalogued in my brain.
Besides, being vague allows for the events of the weekend to sound far more sordid than what actually transpired - our group can't even boast of a slapdash wedding or an ill-advised tattoo.*
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| Classy. |
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| Probably best to master right versus left before donning evening footwear |
*Note to self: must work on not sounding so disappointed about this fact.
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